The Vanity of the Mind #1: Anathema

The story so far…



He woke up, startled.
He felt disoriented. He was gasping.
What was it that he just said? Who did he ask for help? Why did he need help from anybody?
What was it that he just saw? Do dreams have any meaning?
Questions! They come like bullets from a machine gun whenever they come, not giving time for you to answer, suffocating you. By the time you are ready to answer, they are gone.

He came back to his senses.

That was nothing but a bad dream.
No! Dreams have meanings.
A conflict of thoughts!

His .44 caliber Desert Eagle was lying on the bedside table, fitted with a silencer. It symbolized his gagged mouth. He had no one to confess to. His life was that of a solitary eagle, a cursed one.

He was the assassin.
He wasn’t sure how many people he had killed. But he was sure of something. If God existed…if heaven and hell existed…he had a sure seat in hell.
He killed for money. That was his food. That was his destiny.
“Destiny. A word coined by some prick who wanted to justify his deeds and explain his losses.”
“Who’s there?”, he shouted as he looked around.
No one! That voice seemed to come from inside him.

He checked the time in his diamond studded Rolex watch kept by the bedside table. He could afford expensive watches and suits, thanks to the handsome money he got for each contract.
It was 4 in the morning. He looked at his gun. Creases formed in his forehead. His eyes were showing hatred. Hatred towards his gun. Hatred towards his profession. Hatred towards himself.

“This is not hatred. This is confession. You are confessing to yourself, because you have no one else.”
“Who’s that?”
“I’m your heart.”
“What the…”
He got up. He needed some water. This was insane.
It was about to get worse, because someone else just barged in.

“Don’t listen to your heart. It will make you weak”

7 thoughts on “The Vanity of the Mind #1: Anathema

  1. Dreams do have meanings…and A bad dream is that which you have when your desires and your fears are one and the same thing…quoted from Shantaram…
    Loved the allegory of using the assassin to portray the conflict between the brain and the heart. (Assuming of course, the rival is the brain 😉 … I am gonna take my own meaning of it 🙂 )

  2. when your desires and your fears are one and the same thing

    I was trying to convey the very same fact, although I was oblivious to this. 🙂

    This is a continuing story, in case you didn’t know. I have added a link to the prologue in the post. Check that out too!

  3. “Don’t listen to your heart. It will make you weak”

    Can I quote this elsewhere… it’s very enlightening..;)

  4. Very interesting beginning. Very dark too :D:D:D

    Just the way I like it. But as I said before, I reserve my comments for the end. 😀

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