Category Archives: Humor

Rahul Gandhi’s interview through Aamir Khan movie dialogues

Sonia Gandhi orders Rahul to give interview with Arnab Goswami
Rahul (sings):

Mai kabhi batlaata nahin
Par Modi se dartaa hoon mai maa
Yun to mai dikhlaata nahin
Raajneeti samajhtaa naa mai maa
Kya itna bura hoon mai maa?

When the interview is about to start, Sanjay Jha starts maska-marofying Soniaji.
Sanjay Jha: Madam, bol woh rahe hain.. lekin shabd humaare hain

Rahul goes around memorizing dialogues from famous Aamir Khan movies…

Arnab (Welcoming smile outside.. Evil grin inside): Ready to get mauled by me?
Rahul (to himself): All izz well.. All izz well…

Arnab: What do you think of Arvind Kejriwal?
Rahul: Shakal se to beedi ke karkhane ka mazdoor lagta hai … saala choosa hua aam
Arnab: Well played.. the correlation between beedi and his non-stop coughing.
Rahul: What Rahul Gandhi wants to do, is Rahul Gandhi and millions of youngsters in this country who want to change the way the system in this country works. They got that info through RTI. Also some women who wanted to be empowered. I mean we are a superpower.
Arnab: Can I tell you something? Never ever… ever ever… say something as ridiculous as that.

Arnab: Ok.. Moving on.. Why are you not contesting against Narendra Modi?
Rahul: Ladenge toh khoon bahega … nahi ladenge toh yeh log khoon choos lenge
Arnab: You did not answer my question, Mr.Gandhi. The nation needs an answer. Are you scared of Modi?
Rahul: To know that you need to know who Rahul is.. Tell me.. why did you do journalism?
Arnab(perplexed): Are you asking me a question? Woah..
Rahul: Yes.. Tell me.. The nation needs an answer.
Arnab: Erm… I don’t know… so that I could irritate people in the name of nation’s questions? Also, I like saying “Never… Ever… Ever… Ever….” That is just badass!!
Rahul: Mai yeh kahoonga ki aap purush hi nahi … Mahapurush hai! Mahapurush!
Arnab (blushes)

Arnab: How is congress going to bring Indian economy back on tracks if they win?
Rahul: Is ke liye hum baahar se le aayenge sthan.
Sanjay Jha(from backstage): Sthan nahin.. dhan.. dhan.. Sthan ka matlab hai.. (shows his man boobs)

Arnab: How do you rate yourself against your AAP opponent Kumar Viswas?
Rahul: Viswas aur Rahul mein bahut kum farak hota hai … main bewakoof hoon, yeh Viswas bol sakta hai … sirf main hi bewakoof hoon, yeh Rahul hi bol sakta hai.

Arnab: Are you admitting that you are stupid?
Rahul: Jab dil toottha hai toh uska asar seedha dimag par hota hai

Arnab: You are saying that someone broke your heart?
Rahul: Haan.. Sarah Palin ne.. Yeh bewakoofi toh humne usise seekhe.. Dawa bhi kaam na aaye.. Koi dua na lage.. mere khudaa kisiko pyaar ki hawaa na lage..

Arnab: Any last words before we sign off?
Rahul: Zindagi jeene ki do hi tarike hote hai … ek jo ho raha hai hone do, bardaash karte jao … ya phir system mein youngsters ko lao, RTI mein woman quota lao, jimmedaari uthao
Arnab: Alright.. that was Ra-
Rahul: Wait.. There’s more in Sanskrit.. Uttamam daddhadaatha paadam…

Arnab is speechless
Director: Koi mar gaya kya?
Arnab: Haan.. Mai…
Arnab: Mr.Gandhi, the nation needs your answers, not farts. That is the worst smell I have experienced in my life!
Rahul: Perfection ko improve karna mushkil hota hai
Arnab: So that was Rahul Gandhi, folks.. the next big promise for Indian politics.. Signing off now, this is Arnab Goswami.
Rahul: Kaise sign karoon yaar … meri pen to tu le gayi

Sanjay Jha faints..


Courtesy: Dialogues of Taare Zameen Par, 3 idiots, Andaaz Apna Apna, Ghulam, Ghajini, Sarfarosh, Rang De Basanti, Dil Chahta Hai

( Picture Courtesy: Fek Le!)
BJP spokesperson Meenakshi Lekhi opined that Rahul didn’t know what to say, so he flipped the bird! Rahul retaliated saying that he merely turned an avian creature around by 180 degrees

This is not a tag, and I’m not an ignoramus

For those of you who still are fooling around, this blog is still alive. The quiescent melancholy may make it seem otherwise, rendering it almost worthless, perhaps even depressing to those who love my blog (That would be just me, I guess!), but it is breathing nonetheless. And it will stay alive. But the only way I see to get my mojo back, is to hunt down whoever is running the new-age idiot boxes called Facebook and Twitter and kick their ass into oblivion. FB and Twitter have essentially killed the little skill I had in writing and confined me to one-liners and wordplays. To top it all, I tend to go overboard with wordplay that I make the world pay!

The safe (and usual) way when one can’t think about anything to blog, is to dust off some old tag and take it up with some utterly useless facts. A generally futile attempt at a comeback, it at least gives a signal that the blog is not abandoned. For example, “25 things I have done which made me look like an idiot” or “What am I doing right now”. I always wished to say “I’m giving a flying fart” to the latter one. It is fun to see disgusted looks in the faces of people. I get it.. but that’s indeed what I’ll be doing because if I don’t reply to that tag, that means I don’t give a flying fart about the tag.

Anyway, getting back to tagging, I feel it is the most unimaginative form of blogging. I’ve done it several times. That was because I was not being real. To quote a certain buji (Short for “Buddhi Jeevi” or intellectual(duh!) ) from NITC, I was playing around with equations in the realm of complex numbers.

So I am not going to take up a tag here. I won’t, until I start behaving like an imbecile and go against my words. So let me think about what I can write here…







I can think of nothing! It is a well known fact that I’m a literary ignoramus (Some people even say I’m just an ignoramus, literary or not, but that is debatable!). I have forgotten almost all the 3500 tough words in English from Barron’s which I mugged for my GRE. Hmm.. wait. I just figured that I remember “imbecile” and “ignoramus”, as is evident from the last couple of sentences.

So, since I can’t think of anything else, I’ll say something about what is going on in my life. It is boring, and it stinks, because I’m in deep shit right now. I don’t have a job (Heyy! Wait a minute! It is not because I’m an ignoramus. It is because the economy is fucked up!), I don’t have a life.. I don’t know what is happening to me.

What I have are an amazing family, and some amazing friends, that I forget all my woes. Little nuggets which don’t seemingly do anything useful – the incessant rain in Kerala… my mom trying to run when she passes by a nagging neighbor’s house… my dad trying to outsmart my mom during their morning walk… my brother’s silly complaints about his life in Bangalore… his switch from Telugu to Mandarin… my uncle annoying me and my aunt by showing the big sign in “The Hyatt Place” which is black or white depending of the time of the day, every single time we pass by that road… teaching my cousin how to make dal, when I myself don’t know how… gossips about V6… coming up with new nicknames for V6… gossips about me… some people saying they will commit suicide if a deserving guy like me don’t get a job… missing 1729D, Poker, Bamboo Garden, Pan-fried Paneer, Sammy’s Tap and Grill, and inane discussions with V6, the technically challenged girl (TCG) and the Green Dutch.

These little nothings in fact do much more than the somethings. What is life without real people in it, right? People who never fail to bring a smile to your face. Many of my friends too are going through tough phases in their life. Hope is all that is keeping us alive. The hope that good things will happen to good people eventually. That, and being there for each other!

Who am I?

I am always torn between choices whether to seek the light or sink into the darkness. I tend to swim in different directions.
Being well liked for my kind and sympathetic nature, my charm of manner and carefree nature has impressed many. I am compassionate, and unless pushed to the wall, will rarely hurt anyone. I will rarely hurt anyone even when pushed to the wall, because I’m not exactly the kind with big muscles. I apparently am very caustic, but the sarcasm is not always direct, so it generally goes unnoticed. However, it lands me in a spot every once in a while.

I find it difficult to conform and follow rules or to cope with discipline. When the going gets really tough, I don’t get going. Instead I may try to flee down river and hide amongst the vast schools of fish swimming lazily around. However I’m not weak-willed enough to indulge in alcohol and drugs to escape. Alternatively, I pour out my emotions in creative arts. I put my emotions in music, short stories, idiotic writeups, or ridiculous ramblings, but never poetry, because I can’t write poetry if you hang me upside down over a lake full of crocodiles.

I seldom open up to those around me on a personal basis. Although I might be impractical and somewhat uneasy with the real world, I’m brave and prefer a lot of independence. I like to delve in spiritual matters and I’m fascinated by the occult, especially the connections it has with Quantum concepts like entanglement and teleportation. I tend to think that I’m psychic, because my dreams can be strange and portentous. I always remember one thing even if I get amnesia and forget everything else: I am the culmination of all that has gone before, I’m the symbol of death and eternity, I am the distillation of all the other signs. I am the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. Yet I’m not Bret “The Hitman” Hart.

I nicked it from Astroyogi and added liberal amounts of masala to it.

More Evil Laughs

Well.. I got so obsessed with my own poor jokes that I dug them out from old tweets and FB status messages.. so here’s more…

SS: Why didn’t you come to the Halloween party?
Me: I was there.
SS: Oh really, what costume?
Me: The Invisible Man

Me (after the MAITRI Diwali night): The name MAITRI (NCSU Indian Grad Student Assoc.) makes sense. By charging $3 for the party, they are making me part with MY THREE dollars.

(Not exactly what transpired, but this version is better)
My mom: Kiran bought a car. That’s huge!!!
Me: You mean, like a Limo?

Obama snatched the Nobel Prize from me.. Now I’m gonna try for the No-Whistle prize.

Q: Which is the favorite day of the year for environmentalists?
A: St.Patricks Day. Because it is totally green.

FB status: I saw her. I felt that the force was strong with that one. It indeed was! Now I have five fingers engraved on my cheek! God! I should stop watching Star Wars!

Me: I see two hot chicks in front of KFC, and the first thought that comes to my mind is “Oh boy! They are in a dangerous neighborhood. They may get caught and fried!”

Me: What if a house stands right through a timezone border in US? Will half of the house be 1 hour ahead of the other half?

FB Status: Facebook suggested “Wed at 12:24 pm”. I thought, “Okay. Do I at least get to know who I’m gonna wed?” Then I realized it meant Wednesday!

Me: I was wondering…. Saas sans saans is just a dead mother-in-law.


I think I have a sense of humour. It’s just that some people call it good and some people call it bad.
Sometimes I crack the lamest of jokes (Yes I know!) but you should give me some credit, because I have had the history of humiliating other self-proclaimed PJs by simply dominating over them (whenever I’m on a roll, that is).

So, just for the record.. just to prove that my jokes are actually good.. just to make you regret calling me a bad joker.. here’s a mashup of bad jokes, good jokes, puns and (as some people call it) being a jerk, which I cracked out of spontaneity, and can now recall.
I am so sorry folks, but you unleashed this onto yourselves. You called me bad.

Note: Some names have been changed for anonymity, or because I had no idea who that was.

ARN: Kate is hot. But I think Megan is hotter.
Me: Yeah… Megan is like Kate in an oven.

DAG: I just had 2 shots of Vodka and I got high.
PS: What? It is not called “getting high”. You don’t get high on drinking alcohol.
Me: Yes you will. If you are on the second floor while drinking, you are about 10 feet high above the ground.

Me: Why do we have smelly feet and runny nose? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

Me: There are two types of Bengalis in the world – Sen’s and Non-Sen’s

Me: I think the Danish people actually immigrated from West Bengal.
ARN: Why? (Making an expression of regret that he prompted, the very next second)
Me: Because everyone’s name ends with a Sen in Denmark.

Me: Women make men complete! On second thought, Raymonds suit also does!

Ge: ഞാന്‍ പിന്നിട്ട വഴികളിലേക്ക് തിരിഞ്ഞു നോക്കുമ്പോള്‍
Me: നിന്നോട് ആരാടാ വഴിയില്‍ pin ഇടാന്‍ പറഞ്ഞത്? അത് ആരുടെയെങ്കിലും കാലില്‍ തറചാലോ?

That’s all I can remember now. I hope some of you enjoyed them, but my real satisfaction will come when some of you bang your head against the wall out of frustration. This list will grow in future.

Another ghost story

Thursday evening was pleasant. I was back from office early that day and was planning on going out. I decided to take an auto. I walked the small distance through the alley where my apartment was. My muscles were spraining; I should walk more often. I reached the main road. Oddly enough, it wore a deserted look. The velvety brown of the evening sky was already fading into the blue silhouette of the moonlight.
There were no vehicles or human beings, or even dogs (There will at least be 3 stray dogs per street in Bangalore) in sight.
‘Oh dear, will I have to walk till Airport Road now to get an auto?‘, my lazy legs complained and my mind translated it to English.
I uttered a non-verbal spell (well! I didn’t utter in strict sense since it was non-verbal) to summon an auto. Even I was surprised to see an auto coming almost immediately behind me. I waved to him to stop. He didn’t seem to notice and passed me. Then the auto screeched to a halt about 10 feet ahead. I ran towards the auto.
The driver had a frightened look in his face. He looked at me, then looked down towards my feet, then again looked at me.
I too looked at my own feet, just by instinct. What was wrong with my feet?
‘Elli hogbeku saar?’, (Where to, sir?) he asked, anxiety resonating in every syllable that came out.
‘KR Puram’
‘I’ll go through the main road, is it okay?’
‘Okay’, I replied, not understanding what he meant by the last statement. I didn’t know of any shortcuts or alleys to my destination.

I got in and he started moving. He didn’t speak anything till we reached 100ft road. The looming silence instantly changed into ear-shattering din. I heard something like a gasp of relief coming from the driver.

He turned his head when we had stopped at a traffic signal and asked something like, “Kannada maathadubeka?” (Do you speak Kannada?)
I understood what he meant and replied, “Kannada gothilla” (I don’t know Kannada)
“Oh. Hindi is okay”
[ Rest of the conversation was in Hindi, mostly a monologue. Translated to English. Everything in italics is whatever I thought, but didn’t say. ]
Driver: I almost escaped from that ghost today.
Me: What?
Driver: A ghost. She asked me for a ride. Said she will pay 200 rupees. Scared the shit out of me.
Me: *Oh really?*
Driver: She came in a car, said she wanted to go to ***** (I didn’t get the name of the place when he said it.) Offered to pay anything. These lady ghosts…once they enter our body, they will never leave us. Ask us all sorts of things. They won’t go until you die. You will be doomed.
Me: *Duh*
Driver: I just mustered enough courage to say No and get the hell out of there.
Me: Oh. Was that why you were driving so fast?
Driver: Obviously….She wanted to take me to a deserted place and possess me. After that, I would have no control over myself. I’ll lose my family and kids and will have to go after her. She won’t let me enjoy family life as I would have to satisfy her always.
Me: *[Evil grin]* You looked at my feet.
Driver: I was checking whether you were human; whether you had feet.
Me: Hehe. *Muhahahaha*
Driver: No sir, I was so freaked out. Really. In my village, we take special amulets and all from the priest. We are safe there. But there are no such safety precautions here in city.
Me: *All ghosts migrated to cities now. Yeah, I can see*
Driver: I think she was a Muslim ghost. That makes it even more difficult.
Me: Why so?
Driver: Because Hindu mantras won’t work on Muslim ghosts. You need Muslim mantras from Quran for those.
Me: *Boy! This is getting better and better*
Me: What did she look like? Was she wearing white saree?
Driver: I don’t know. She came in a car. Her hair was loose and wildly bushy. Her face was white.
Me: You mean fair skin?
Driver: No sir. It was white color. Like white paint was smeared. Only her eyes were brown.
Me: And she was driving a car.
Driver: Yes.

I suddenly remembered the ghost from the movie “The Ring”. Then the thought suddenly hit me squarely in my a 10-pin strike. It might just have been some ordinary lady who was careless enough to go out without removing her facial. The poor lady was mistaken for a ghost! Imagine her perplexed face when the driver had sped from her at breakneck speed!
Hell of a ghost story for me!!

I didn’t speak much for the rest of the journey. He was saying something, I just kept replying “Mm.Hmm”,”I see” etc. idly without listening to what he was saying.

We reached my destination. I checked the meter and gave him the money.
“One and a half meter charge, sir”
*Bloody hell! This guy had the nerves to ask for more money even in this condition.*
I argued, “What is the extra half for? Your ghost story?”

Antics of the First

He becomes a myth, a spook story that criminals tell their kids at night: “Rat on your pop, and Keyser Soze will get you.” But no one ever really believes.

-Verbal Kint
The Usual Suspects

I haven’t blogged here for one month now. I guess I’ve become less funny and more serious. (C’mon! That’s not like me!) I’ve been partial to my technical blog and devoting more time for that. Anyway, sparing the apologies, (yeah! Be thankful that I’m back!! Without even giving false punchline-promises like the Austrian-accented “I’ll be back!”) this one is a hilarious memory which was cued by another funny talk when I visited home last week.

For those who don’t know, “the first” is me.

Lets start with some prologues.

Prologue 1: Stupid is as stupid does
My mom says that I’m a bit stupid. I think I’m not, but my mom proves time and again that I am.

Prologue 2: The Legend
“Chaakku Mappilla” is an imaginary character often used in Kerala to scare misbehaving kids. It is similar to the boogeyman. As a way of controlling their children, parents will tell them about “Chaakku Mappilla” who steals misbehaving children. This guy supposedly carries a sack on his back. He catches all misbehaving children, puts them in the sack and sells them. He may be said to target a specific “transgression” or just general misbehavior. The funny thing is that it is believed in by children.

The big laugh
circa 1990
(To make things more sensible, I was oblivious to whatever I have written in blue italics below. Why? Because I was “thinking”)
That day, my brother was wreaking a lot of havoc in home. I was in the verandah, thinking as usual.
I heard faint noises coming from inside. It was my brother screaming and shouting to show his protest in whatever it was.
After some time, the noise grew louder. When I turned around, he was outside, behind me. My mother too had followed him to the verandah.
She was holding a plate with food, perhaps. The little chap was probably refusing to have food. (This was so unusual of him, mind you!)

My mother said, “Eat this like a good boy.”
My brother said, “No. I’m not a good boy.”
My mother said, “Chaakku Mappilla will come and catch children who starve.”
My brother was smart. He replied, “Chaakku Mappilla indeed. There is no such person.”

Then mom became desperate, turned to me and asked, “Tell us…You have seen Chaakku Mappilla, right?”
I probably didn’t see her winking, because I replied in favor of my brother, “No”.

I had never heard the name “Chaakku Mappilla” before. My mom, or my grandma never scared me with that name. (Maybe I never misbehaved 😀 ) So I thought it was the name used to address whoever carries a sack. I didn’t even doubt that she was acting.

Then a man appeared at the end of the road. Coincidentally, he was carrying a sack on his shoulders. I knew that man. He was the one who used to play “Thavil” (A type of percussion instrument) in the nearby temple. It was undoubtedly his Thavil inside the sack.

My mom jumped at the opportunity and told my brother, “See. There he is…Chaakku Mappilla. Now eat this or he will take you away.”
My brother was not ready to give in that easily. He boldly said, “He is not Chaakku Mappilla”, although he didn’t sound as bold as before.
He heaved a sigh of relief when the guy passed our house without even looking at us.

My mom’s next step in the drama was to ask me to go and call Chaakku Mappilla, so that he would come and take my brother away.
“Go and tell him that I have something for sale here”, my mom said.
I immediately ran outside towards him.
Panting, I said,

“Mr. Chaakku Mappilla… My mom wants to sell something to you.”

He looked at me for a few seconds with a perplexed face. Time froze for everyone except me. (Because I still hadn’t realized that what I had done was stupid.)
He frowned and continued walking. I looked back at my mom. She beckoned me to come back.
Everyone was laughing. I didn’t understand why. Call it the naivety of a 7 year old who doesn’t know the legend of “Chaakku Mappilla”

I became the laughing stock of the whole family for the next one week….and years to come! Poor me!

Who said I couldn’t write verse?

Well. I did!
But looking back, I have to take it back. I see I can write. (Some people don’t like it because it’s not poetry in the right sense. But what the heck! That’s the maximum I can do!)

Here’s a snippet of one of my old posts. You’ll see the complete post here.

…The panda, as if reading my mind, started…

Why worry about the name of the dame,
When you still don’t know the name of the game,
You are lame coz you can’t take aim,
The guns, you can’t blame, it will be a big shame,
Why go after the dame who came,
When I am there, who’s so tame,
You’ll get it all the same,
And ‘t will be your claim to fame.

Then, without warning, he jumped on me. He clutched me tight however I tried to get rid of him. Even now he’s clutching me from my side. I say, “You’re not a Koala, you’re a Panda, Goddamnit!!”
Oh dear!!!

What happened to the quest of the stone??

Away went broken, the dame
And as she went, she proclaimed,
I will avenge you, O my flame!
The stone she found is now critically acclaimed!!
I lost the stone and the fame and the dame,
And I got an idiot who says he’s tame.

Own Goal

I know I haven’t posted in ages and I’m really sorry. I promise that there will be one in a couple of days.

Until then, keep laughing at this joke. This is a real “own-goal” cracked one of my friends under the influence of alcohol 😉 I think it will be a classic.

DAT: I am Don Corleone.

KP (with an expression of superiority and pride in his face, jumps the gun) : I am Michael Corleone.

DAT: Well, Hello, my dear son.

[Everyone else roll with peals of laughter]
[After some time KP realises what the laughter was for]

KP: Oh Shit. Bloody f***

Aldous Who?

Technological progress has merely provided with more efficient means for going backwards.

– Aldous Huxley

Well! I don’t really know who this Aldous Huxley is. Being the literal person that I am, let me try to guess “literally” from the words of wisdom he has spoken above.

1. Aldous Huxley is a professor of an engineering school

I had this doubt from an incident which involved my going backwards (literally) due to some technology.

My regular seat in class was in the front row near the main door. Before you think otherwise, I was not a nerd. The front bench on the side row had many advantages. The lecturer would watch out for potential law-breakers only on the back benches. You are literally free to do anything noiseless in front seats. For instance, sleeping (you shouldn’t snore though!!), playing Hangman. Besides, I had a good view of outside. Another advantage was the chance of sneaking out of the class when the lecturer turns toward the board.

All was well until one fine day, my physics professor announced that he would be making use of the OHP (Over-head Projector) from that day. On the day it was brought, I was in a mood to listen to the class. But alas! my bench was too much to the side that I was not able to see the projection because of the reflection from the window. (Technically, Total Internal Reflection!!)
As a result of that, I had to shift my place. As there was no other seat upfront, I had to go to the back seat.

I believe that a similar incident might have occured in Huxley’s class and he might have uttered the great words on that occassion.
Wasn’t it a technologically advanced way of going backwards?

This theory is enforced by the fact that ALDOUS may be an abbreviation of A Laughable Dimwit Of an Undergraduate School

2. Aldous is a professional swimmer of the Australian Team

The year was 2000. The Olympics was around the corner. Then the Australians came up with a special suit which would cover your entire body from neck to ankle. It would provide better streamlining, they said. Their swimmers would be able to swim faster with that costume, they said.
Well, this guy Aldous was a backstroke swimmer. The day he swam for the first time with the costume, he broke his personal record. After climbing back, he might have uttered those words of wisdom.
Obviously, it was a technologically efficient way of going backwards (or swimming backwards)
I have an abbreviation for this theory too…
Australian Lad Dedicated for Outrageously Uber-Swimmer

3. Aldous is a brilliant but eccentric scientist

This theory suggests that Aldous invented a device which I call the third eye. He probably got the idea from The Matrix, because the third eye was a CCD lens coupled into your brain, which would directly communicate with your brain. So it would serve the purpose of an eye, hence the name.

He successfully did the surgical procedure in his own head because no one was ready to be a guinea pig. (How would any one, knowing that it was Aldous the eccentric at the other end??)
How it was done is a mystery.

Aldous was probably eccentric because he did some silly mistakes (which he didn’t consider mistakes, BTW) in the procedure. The first mistake was that he implanted the third eye on the back of his head a la The Matrix. The second one was that the third eye would become functional only if both his real eyes are closed, because he believed that the third eye is a substitute for the real eyes and should always work when the real eyes don’t work. (He probably didn’t know the difference between “always” and “only”)

Now the problem started occuring because Aldous had the habit of sleepwalking. So, after the procedure and he went for sleep, he started sleepwalking. But since his eyes were closed, his third eye became functional. And since it was in the back of his head, he started walking backwards, thinking that he was walking forward.

This is how technology provided him with a means of going backward.

Oh! I have an acronym ready for this too. This was said by his Linux-geek neighbor, who made a recursive acronym as usual, when he saw Aldous walking backwards outside his house and was nearing a puddle of water.
Aldous Look Down Otherwise U‘ll Slip

Note: Aldous Huxley is a famous writer and is consider a leader of modern thought. I know very well who Huxley is, and the above post is solely for entertainment. The quote was a real quote made by Huxley, but what followed was made up by yours truly.