Sonia Gandhi orders Rahul to give interview with Arnab Goswami
Mai kabhi batlaata nahin Par Modi se dartaa hoon mai maa Yun to mai dikhlaata nahin Raajneeti samajhtaa naa mai maa Kya itna bura hoon mai maa?
When the interview is about to start, Sanjay Jha starts maska-marofying Soniaji.
Sanjay Jha: Madam, bol woh rahe hain.. lekin shabd humaare hain
Rahul goes around memorizing dialogues from famous Aamir Khan movies…
Arnab (Welcoming smile outside.. Evil grin inside): Ready to get mauled by me?
Rahul (to himself): All izz well.. All izz well…
Arnab: What do you think of Arvind Kejriwal?
Rahul: Shakal se to beedi ke karkhane ka mazdoor lagta hai … saala choosa hua aam
Arnab: Well played.. the correlation between beedi and his non-stop coughing.
Rahul: What Rahul Gandhi wants to do, is Rahul Gandhi and millions of youngsters in this country who want to change the way the system in this country works. They got that info through RTI. Also some women who wanted to be empowered. I mean we are a superpower.
Arnab: Can I tell you something? Never ever… ever ever… say something as ridiculous as that.
Arnab: Ok.. Moving on.. Why are you not contesting against Narendra Modi?
Rahul: Ladenge toh khoon bahega … nahi ladenge toh yeh log khoon choos lenge
Arnab: You did not answer my question, Mr.Gandhi. The nation needs an answer. Are you scared of Modi?
Rahul: To know that you need to know who Rahul is.. Tell me.. why did you do journalism?
Arnab(perplexed): Are you asking me a question? Woah..
Rahul: Yes.. Tell me.. The nation needs an answer.
Arnab: Erm… I don’t know… so that I could irritate people in the name of nation’s questions? Also, I like saying “Never… Ever… Ever… Ever….” That is just badass!!
Rahul: Mai yeh kahoonga ki aap purush hi nahi … Mahapurush hai! Mahapurush!
Arnab: How is congress going to bring Indian economy back on tracks if they win?
Rahul: Is ke liye hum baahar se le aayenge sthan.
Sanjay Jha(from backstage): Sthan nahin.. dhan.. dhan.. Sthan ka matlab hai.. (shows his man boobs)
Arnab: How do you rate yourself against your AAP opponent Kumar Viswas?
Rahul: Viswas aur Rahul mein bahut kum farak hota hai … main bewakoof hoon, yeh Viswas bol sakta hai … sirf main hi bewakoof hoon, yeh Rahul hi bol sakta hai.
Arnab: Are you admitting that you are stupid?
Rahul: Jab dil toottha hai toh uska asar seedha dimag par hota hai
Arnab: You are saying that someone broke your heart?
Rahul: Haan.. Sarah Palin ne.. Yeh bewakoofi toh humne usise seekhe.. Dawa bhi kaam na aaye.. Koi dua na lage.. mere khudaa kisiko pyaar ki hawaa na lage..
Arnab: Any last words before we sign off?
Rahul: Zindagi jeene ki do hi tarike hote hai … ek jo ho raha hai hone do, bardaash karte jao … ya phir system mein youngsters ko lao, RTI mein woman quota lao, jimmedaari uthao
Arnab: Alright.. that was Ra-
Rahul: Wait.. There’s more in Sanskrit.. Uttamam daddhadaatha paadam…
Arnab is speechless
Director: Koi mar gaya kya?
Arnab: Haan.. Mai…
Arnab: Mr.Gandhi, the nation needs your answers, not farts. That is the worst smell I have experienced in my life!
Rahul: Perfection ko improve karna mushkil hota hai
Arnab: So that was Rahul Gandhi, folks.. the next big promise for Indian politics.. Signing off now, this is Arnab Goswami.
Rahul: Kaise sign karoon yaar … meri pen to tu le gayi
Sanjay Jha faints..
Courtesy: Dialogues of Taare Zameen Par, 3 idiots, Andaaz Apna Apna, Ghulam, Ghajini, Sarfarosh, Rang De Basanti, Dil Chahta Hai